Archive for March, 2008

Aphids!!

{ March 30, 2008 @ 6:44 pm } · { Gardening }
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I hate creepy, crawly little bugs—and aphids are definitely one of them. A moving, translucent green patch of bugs—ICK!!! They’re all over my butterfly bush I discovered and I hastily moved it away from my pea plants.

UPDATE: To my horror I discovered 2 small ones on the underside of a pea plant. I hastily sprayed soap water all over everything and will contunue to do so each day. I don’t think I’m going to resort to the aluminum foil for fear of overheating the delicate shoots. But I might just have to–*arms self with oil spray like an uzzi–look out #*%@ bugs!!* 

I’ve started using a home remedy of water/oil/soap in a spray to suffocate them. If that’s not enough I’m going to mail-order ladybugs to munch on them ^_^ Ah the lovely world of insect carnivores. I’ll happily let them eat every single one!

My pea plants are doing splendidly–very successful. The only problem is that I now have 24 of them… I’ve arranged them in 5 pots in clusters of 4-5 each because they like to be crowded but I might have to break them up later. The zucchini continues to thrive but I’m kind of worried about the spindly chives. In China during the winter they cut the chives back and cover them with straw so they come up white in the spring. I think that’s what happened with one pea plant that I thought just didn’t germinate but was actually buried the whole time. It’s a lot paler than the others with a semi-translucent white stalk. I wonder, if it survives, will it continue to be albino??

Dooney & Bourke

{ March 29, 2008 @ 11:25 pm } · { Brand Whore }
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    I finally caved and bought a Dooney & Bourke purse–not too expensive for a brand name, about $200. It’s gorgeous–just the right size for a roomy business purse. I loved the sigs on the side and it has a checkered pink interior. The outside is the classic beige with black and black leather handles. Very cute.

    I almost went for Jimmy Choo shoes but the way I treat business shoes that I have to walk 8hrs a day in–it wouldn’t be pretty. Expensive shoes I’d save to wear on those special nights out. I really want to go to the designer finale at Nordstrum’s–everything is significantly marked down nearly 40%. I also liked the Gucchi and Manolo’s….so tempting!! >< But I was good and bought comfy Borns for work and a nice sleek black pair, low heel of course lol

    I spent a lot today but I absolutely needed it–I don’t buy because I feel like it–I buy because I need to. I run shoes into the ground then replace them. The same with purses except this one I plan to be extra nice to like my Italian leather tote. The heels on my last pair of shoes actually started to crumble and the seams on another were unravelling! They weren’t necessarily cheap either–a pretty sizable investment but it’s worth it for shoes that last a year and are comfy and allow your feet room to breathe. That’s why I usually go with leather–Born shoes are so scrumptiously comfy with soft, supple leather and cushioned insoles. And the detail is amazing–they use natural dyes for most of them. The one I picked is a rich mahogany–almost burgundy in color like a deep, oakey red wine. At least these purchases I don’t feel so bad about–I used to stress and worry about spending too much.

Norooz

{ March 29, 2008 @ 5:18 pm } · { Culture }
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    The ceremonial table in front of the banquet hall was piled high with objects symbolizing important values and traditions contained flowering hyacinth, a large mirror propped up behind a goldfish bowl, decorated eggs, plates of sweets, 2 tall candles, & apples. Everyone was dressed up–even the children wore elaborate dresses. There were dancers in flowing, shear gowns–some girls even wore gold-trimmed vests and mustaches. There was a man in an orange robe tied with a thick green belt who gave coins to the children from his cart laden with yellow flowers. Mothers were chasing their rowdy children trying to get them to stand still for a photograph. It was held at a hotel so the food was pretty standard–fish with herb rice and roasted vegetables. Everyone had a good time–laughing and clapping their hands as a band played traditional Persian songs to the beat of a drum.

    Everyone was extremely nice and even tried to speak Persian to me–I’d love to help out again and get to know these people better.

The terrible, no good, materialistic wants

{ March 26, 2008 @ 12:10 am } · { Lists }
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Hm…definitely necessary. It helps me keep tabs on those pesky ‘I wants’ that constantly crop up. (& now that I’m working again it’s a perpetual itch! ><) So, without further ado, *cough* my wants

  • Clothes–J. Crew & Anthropologie
  • Garden necessities–screen, fertilizer, plants, etc.
  • Jewelry
  • Lolita
  • Books
  • A plane ticket to Beijing
  • Touchups for my car

And a stress-free life. But we all know that’s not going to happen

Busiest Day Ever

{ March 22, 2008 @ 6:36 pm } · { Lists, Personal }
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A day in the life of:

 Friday night:

  • Made cookies
  • Went shopping
  • Finished rhubarb recipe and salsa
  • Moved furniture, decorated
  • Dyed eggs

 Saturday:

  • 7am-wrapped Mike’s gift, finished Easter basket
  • 8am-mom home from work, made 1/2 of sangria
  • 9am-walked dog, bought 11 balloons, finished riddles
  • 10am-washed dog, gardened, did laundry
  •  11am-NAP!
  • 12 pm-shopped for last ingredients, picked up cake
  • 1pm-finished sangria, made pasta salad
  • 2pm-washed glasses and silver, set table ><, cut strawberries, laid out coffee/tea sets                                                                           (trust me–we went thru 3 china sets before deciding on the one we wanted XP)
  • 3pm-matched wine & water glasses w/champagne flutes, chilled drinks, decorated
  • 4pm-got things ready for recipes tomorrow, made nests on plates, NAP!
  • 5pm-got dressed for Mike’s b-day dinner!
  • 8pm-finished nest decorations for plates

 After that long day yesterday I couldn’t sleep a wink–but at least my legs have recovered somewhat–I was beyond exhausted yesterday but it’s such a good feeling knowing I’m going to be entertaining others and giving them an Easter they won’t forget!!

Good Friday

{ March 22, 2008 @ 2:51 am } · { Personal }
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 I’m doing it again–this on/off eating thing. As a result my stomach hurts a lot. I didn’t go to the Tenebrae service—not that that’s surprising. I’ve baled out a lot on things I was supposed to do this week like donate blood and start making employment calls again. I don’t know what my problem is–I’d be content to bury my head in the sand and the let the world pass by if I could. Today was the first time I didn’t visit with my cousin when she came over–I feigned being sick. Typical. I just feel out of sorts today, and exhausted. My mom and I are going all out for Easter and have been working hard. And for me–that’s what made this week break special. Just hanging out with family and enjoying being busy with things that benefited others. I like doing chores and helping out family the most.

Hearst Castle was fun–not what I thought it would be but it was a nice drive south. All we did was take a brief tour–my mom, after all the driving, would have liked to just take our time heading back but I suppose we all have unimportant lives we have to hurry back to. But it was a gorgeous house and definitely worth it for me.

All my seeds have sprouted practically–which is good. I e-mailed Andrea but she kind of replied abruptly which is how she always is but it kind of stung. So I don’t keep up with my friends as much as I should–we’re all busy and frankly I don’t feel I’ve much to show for the year I’ve been at home. That’s why I didn’t go to the service–I don’t feel worthy of celebrating His name and being in His prescence if I haven’t done anything to earn His love. It’s so hard for me to feel like I’ve amounted to anything—just more dead ends. It’s incredibly frustrating because the less I do the worse I feel but the more I do the more I wish I wasn’t as busy  *sigh* Will life ever get any easier?? Will I ever be content with where and who I am?!

Connections

{ March 20, 2008 @ 12:52 am } · { Personal }
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Today is definitely better–I’ve accomplished a lot today and don’t feel like a complete failure for just enjoying the day. Waiting for the seeds to sprout is like watching pandas try to mate–it’s a daunting and sometimes disappointing process. And of course, the seedlings don’t know all the effort, hope, and patience that’s wrapped up in their emergence. The chives are getting a bit taller and bit more clumped together. But the peas are taking their sweet time. A whole week and the first sprout has barely risen 1/4 of an inch! 2 others have appeared, but no sign of others yet. It’ll be summer and too hot for them by the time they mature! Thank goodness they’re miniatures meant for pots and can be moved indoors or in the shade. The chives like a bit of warmth and should do well with our tomato transplants. The fruit trees have lost their blossoms and are now covered in bright green leaves. The plum of course has the most. The grape vine is beginning to show leaves again–I think I should have been more aggressive in trimming it last year but we’ll see what happens. The zucchini continues to do well and double in size.

 Tomorrow is a road trip south along the coast to Hearst Castle stopping by Carmel on the way back. I hope we have gorgeous weather! My day is made complete by the connections that have brought me there—time spent in the garden, with my dog, my mom, and prepping for Easter.

St. Patrick’s Monday

{ March 19, 2008 @ 12:03 am } · { Culture, Personal }
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I feel all tangled up and knotted today. Nothing seems to go right and I feel guilty for staying at home–I slept the morning away due to a St. Patrick’s hangover lol It’s funny, I try to convince myself that I know what’s best for me and always stay in tune with instinct. But it never seems to be the right response. Why do I need R & R after working anyway? It should be a good feeling and mandatory that I start earning some money for school. I’ll let it slide this week as I always do—but after Easter at the very least I need to start studying again.

St. Patrick’s day at Rosie McCann’s was fun—a great band played with a humorous guy with a full head of white hair who leaped up on chairs as he sang to couples. It was a mostly older crowd and not nearly as busy as last year (I think they’ve started having the event over the course of 2 days). The pub was suprisingly clean-swept and modern inside–a bit disppointing as the interior looked more like a Victorian house than a pub. And the shephard’s pie, while good, was extremely expensive. But the roaming bag-pipe player and good company more than made up for that. Cassie was fantastically fun and we had one too many drinks in celebration of the moment. Maybe next year we’ll try somewhere else for a more traditional feel.

Today the first of the garlic chive shoots appeared! Slendar and green like thick grass stalks they peek out from the soil in tiny clusters. And another pea shoot has appeared—the first still going strong albeit a bit slower than expected. It’s such a thick sprout–a tightly woven bundle of first leaves that are delicately serrated. I hope they grow!!

 Another suprise was the woodland wreath my mother had ordered I’d always dreamed of as gracing the center of our Easter table. Pale blue robin’s eggs truffles will go in the center–a delectable and delightful decoration. The wreath smells of warm forest undergrowth with a spicy hint of feverfew, sage, and bay leaves and is nearly two handspans across.

 We still dye eggs, though not nearly as many as when my brother and I were little (4 dozen +!) Thursday is a road trip to Herst Castle–I’ve always wanted to go and can’t wait to take photos. Tomorrow is Easter prep day, and Friday we can hopefully see Maren and Theo.

Standard Sunday

{ March 17, 2008 @ 1:44 am } · { Personal }
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Sun shot

That’s how I feel today–translucent, going with the flow. A little upset with myself, but I’ve accomplished a lot today. I need to write to my sensei and tell her I’m playing hookie tomorrow so I can go to an Irish pub with my friend for St. Patty’s Day. *sigh* I seriously need to get my priorities straight.

I can’t figure out why I’m so adverse to working–don’t get me wrong. I love a paycheck and the feeling of working towards a goal when there’s something I want to buy but have to save up for. It’s a great feeling, one I wish my younger brother had so he could learn the value of working for himself. But the jobs have been a bit rough, and getting plunked down in new situations is always unnerving and the most difficult to get through. I always come out a bit rattled and internally shaken. Why can’t I be more placid and stable??

I’m not 100% social by any means–and I enjoy being by myself sometimes. I’m never bored–I’m always doing something. Taking care of my cocker spaniel, gardening (the pea seeds cracked!!), listening to my iPod, surfing Etsy, taking photos, reading, studying Japanese, or watching something I downloaded on Bittorent. There’s an endless source of entertainments right under my nose—I can become immersed in my own world for days at a time, only to emerge wondering how I got so wrapped up in the simple things. I need to start writing again—there’s a balance between being busy and too busy so I can’t focus and create a mentally blank slate for my story. But somehow, no matter what I’m feeling, it always bleeds into my writing.

Hm….things I’m longing to buy….I don’t have much control for <10$, but for expensive things like a Dooney and Bourke purse I definitely hesitate. Thank goodness. I don’t understand how some people can become comfortable with buying expensive things all the time. It just makes me nervous. I start to worry if I’ll really appreciate it and have to be sure I’ll use it. Which is why the most expensive things I own are utilitarian like a semi-formal pair of jeans, 2 purses, an iPod, laptop, SLR camera, my car, stereo, and cell phone. My nails are an exception tho—but appearance is a commodity in the job market!!! I’m selective and definitely know my taste which is why it’s almost impossible to buy something for me. Plus I take pride in being a minamalist—I always get rid of the old and prefer a sleek, clean, mod look. My apartment is going to be an eclectic mix of antiques and mod Ikea furniture. And shag carpets. Yep—I can’t wait ^_^

So today is an ordinary Sunday–not much to say. I saw a movie with my mom, got a b-day present for my brother’s party next weekend (hatachi!!!), and bought a rose collar for my dog. She hasn’t had a new one in years and her leather one was a bit ragged. I’m getting better about not being so phone shy tho I’m not nearly as bad as Julia used to be lol But she’s so sweet it’s ok. Got to go! Things to do, Easter cards to mail. I regret not being more abstemious for Lent–I’ve been horrible this year. And last year was just a mess. *sigh* What am I going to do with my self?? Go to Tenebrae service and try to start over.

Fridays are always good

{ March 16, 2008 @ 5:16 am } · { Personal }
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Gray skies 

Basically, that’s how I feel today.

The end of a long work week–not as long as before but long enough. And nothing to show for it—just more goodbyes. My life seems like a stage with endless cameos–people appearing then vanishing again just as suddenly. But I bet there will be many more before the curtain finally falls.

I haven’t had time to write—Jade is really mad at me and wanting to move beyond the first scene with the writing desk and the teapot. But every time I try it feels like some charade–a sham that only detracts from the wonderful person I know her to be.

34 hrs—normally it would be 46 under my belt but 34 will have to do. I can’t get up at 5am–I’m physically incapable of it. By Friday I could barely open my eyes let alone roll out of bed. And I loved the people I left—but isn’t that the story of my life? And the pain doesn’t dimish with time–it only settles with fading into the background until you realize you haven’t thought of it in awhile and then it comes back afresh—the pain just as vivid as before. If exes are that bad—why does every other relationship have to follow the same painful pattern??

So I settle with taking photos of stormy skies and let my internal turmoil get swallowed up by the thunder. I’ve started gardening again—we’ll see if anything I touch can grow. My mother’s zucchini is doing really well ironically–she’s not know for her green thumb but then again neither am I.

And I watch old episodes of forgotten shows, sing to my dog, laugh about nothing at all, and rejoice in the bitterly cold rain. I need to journal again and have my sights set on a sumptious leather bound, distressed journal as large as an encyclopedia and just as thick. I need to start drinking tea again too–I got scared off when I started worrying about its potential to stain. There’s so much I want to do and so much I feel I’m not doing–every day I want to wake up completely alive but when the sun sets I feel like I haven’t moved a single step. It’s frustrating–this constant shifting back and forth like the endless ebb of the tides. Over and over, sanded smooth like polished obsidian–opaque but dense with the weight of memories.

I’ve become more communicative—if only through the impersonal ease of the internet. I rejoice in holidays, but I haven’t given anything up for Lent this year. Maybe I’ve given up a part of myself—but I can’t tell because I don’t think I’ve ever been completely whole. I’m just a cobbled image of shattered pieces–the jagged edges constantly cutting me. I sound depressed and prone to angst but I’m not—I just don’t get to vent very often and when I do it sounds like I’m the raven watching above my bedroom door.

Nevermore. That should be my motto. Nevermore. So here’s to tomorrow–and a brighter, blank slate full of possibilities!!