Archive for School

Day in the Life

{ September 21, 2008 @ 11:14 pm } · { Family, Life, Personal, School }
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Since I haven’t written in a while….

Sharon called me while I was at a lecture about Walgreens. She’s doing well in Florida but the workload is overwhelming. I can totally relate. She said she’ll be going home for a month next summer (I wish I could visit her in Malaysia!!!) but she’ll be back around the time I graduate so I think I’ll stop by and visit. She’s staying in a large townhouse with Michelle, another international student from Linfield, so there’ll be plenty of room for a guest. I can’t wait!! Even a month into this dreaded program I’m dreaming about graduation. I want to travel!!! I’m not sure of the quality of visiting must-see sights on my own. I’ve only ever traveled with family or friends like when I stayed in Japan. I know I want to visit China for a few days. I’ve been dreaming about Beijing for years–in under a week you can see the Forbidden City, tombs of emperors, and the Great Wall!! (plus most hotels have amazing spa packages). On the way there or back I’d like to visit Sharon and Lee. We’re all so busy with school I don’t want to bother them during Christmas (I only have a week off anyway).

My grandpa has to have radiation because the cancer in his stomach was later determined to be Stage 2. Poor guy! We all complemented him after his surgery because he looks younger and healthier than he has in years.

Other than that nothing much. I don’t think I’m going to go to Y-Con. Reading manga is good enough XP Maybe next year. I know I’m wasting a 40$ ticket but do I really want to go to a con with raving fangirls?? (And I mean raving). I know I have a beautiful outfit to wear but no one wants to go so I’ll hold off for now. I slept all day yesterday (a 4 hour nap then I crashed at 4pm and woke up at 9. Chatted with my parents, then went back to bed until 6am) It’s probably because of my 1/2 business presentation on Friday. It was so nerve-wracking but I’ve gotten better at presenting.

So next week is a regular school week. In two weeks I have Wed. off so I think I’ll get a massage *sighs happily* I’d rather spend 200$ on a massage than a nice purse any day. My goal when I have a substantial income: get a massage every weekend lol

Once the Dust Clears

{ August 26, 2008 @ 8:38 pm } · { Personal, School }
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I was really nervous going into my first class–I have no idea what classes of this caliber are like. I was intimidated by the students at first too–would they be really competitive like some of the students in my A.P. classes in high school? Some of my high school classmates were really hard core but in college people seemed to stop caring. Plus I was a humanities major so the 10 or so in my department were really laid back (but we could never beat our laissez-faire professors).

My MBA cohort is an eclectic mix–26 students half of whom are international. We’ve only had one class but it seems like my classmates are serious simply because they’re intelligent. The bar’s set pretty high for such fast-paced course work so you have to be sharp to keep up.

I like my first class–Managing and Developing People. Our professor is semi-retired and very nice which is reflected in his grading scale. His 10 page syllabus scared me at first but he’s just precise. I bet he gets really serious when it comes down to it but he makes class fun. I was dreading the 4 hours that I experienced in my summer stats class–I counted every minute like I was being tortured. But the 4 hours practically evaporated–I could tell we had been there awhile but suddenly class was over. I don’t know how much of it is his precise schedule so we know what to expect or the variation in activities so we get caught up in doing something different.

I like class–but I’m worried about our nebulous assignments. Even super nice professors have very high expectations for perfect reports–I’m hoping I can at least do what the professor wants. We have a lot of big projects in this class which I think is pretty typical–one huge style report and an optional extra credit project that reminds me of my social statistics final project where we had to go out and survey people (that was a fun lesson in b.s….)

It will be interesting to see what my other 2 professors are like–1, a young guy who I think is in charge of the international studies program and the other a female professor who doesn’t have a syllabus….

Out of breath

{ August 25, 2008 @ 5:57 am } · { Personal, School }
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At least, that’s what it feels like after 20 hours of intense orientation that felt like boot camp. My reaction was a bit overblown, but not by much. A lot of the orientation was redundant–a 3 hour lecture on grammar, plagiarism, and citation that just wouldn’t end and a 1 hr lecture on leadership. Some of it was informative–the lectures on executive prescence, networking, and career services. The group project was really intimidating–we had barely gotten to know each other and knew going into it that group work would be the focus of our classes so we had to learn how to work well in a team. As the only girl in a group of 4 I was hesitant at first because I had pegged one of the guys early on as being over-confident and domineering. But things worked out–I let others speak first and had to run to catch up most of the time. One of the guys was really good at B.S.–at the last minute he dictated a wonderful speech for our paper that flowed perfectly. I felt out of place and tried to contribute what I could but I don’t think I came out looking very good. But then–I always put myself down. But my presentation skills definitely left a lot to be desired. A lot.

I made friends quickly with the other 8 girls in our class of 27 and I’m happy at least that I know a few people well who I can turn to when things get rough. I liked meeting 2008 alumni–they told us the honest truth about how hard the coursework can get and how important the cohort is. Everything is about a team which is a really accurate picture of the workplace. I need to get more comfortable playing a balancing act. The ropes course was fun–not campy as I’d feared–and the ice breaker was kept to a simple introduction.

But now as I take a 1 day breather before the first day of class I realize how overwhelmed I am. I hope that doesn’t translate to being out of my depth but I think I can handle this. We’ll see how class goes tomorrow. At least I got my books today with a generous donation from my mom which helps because I’ll be skipping work tomorrow–I feel really bad, especially because everything was so last minute and the material for class is centered around business ethics. I definitely haven’t been a good employee–I haven’t been appreciative or even happy to be there. They’ve made far more sacrifices than I have and I need to acknowledge that. I’ll try to go in to work before school but if there’s group work after that makes for a really long day. We’ll see.

You’ve got to be kidding…

{ August 22, 2008 @ 2:01 am } · { Rants, School }
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OK–you’ve got to be kidding. I just looked at the itinerary for MBA orientation and it consists of the usual, expected mandatory speeches but also includes a rope’s course and ice breakers. Rope’s course?! That’s rediculous! I haven’t done that since Counselor in Training (C.I.T) for Girls Scouts when I was 14!! I don’t want to get to know my classmates—I want my MBA. Period end of subject. I don’t want to play name games reminiscent of rush in college—I just want a degree. This is ridiculous—8am-5pm Friday and Saturday? This is such a joke–I can’t believe at this high degree of education that I’m required to do such demeaning, pointless things. Yeah–maybe when I was a teenager and understood team-building activities. But an MBA?! I have a B.A. for Pete’s sake!! You HAVE to be kidding!!! How many students are in this program anyway?! They’re all 30+, right?? WHY!??!!?!?!?!?!?!

Life is Hard

{ August 20, 2008 @ 7:18 pm } · { Life, Personal, School }
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And with that acknowledgement comes it’s evil green-eyed twin: jealousy. Envy of those whose lives are relatively care-free or those who are presented with optimistic and rose-tinted options. I make decisions because I have to according to the suffocatingly stuffy precept of ‘it’s supposed to be better for me in the long run…’ Choice A or B won’t make me happier or offer moments of fun versus its counterpart that’s comparatively boring and droll. I have to make decisions that leave me crying because both are necessary and to remove one is like losing a limb. But I’m not really attached to either one which only stirs up the emotional whirlwind even more.

I have to decide between working and getting an MBA. Let’s see….suffering through countless hours of studying awful subjects I’ll never even begin to understand versus working at a slow but comfortable accounting desk for a low hourly rate. Needless to it didn’t take me very long to come up with the short list of pros and cons. It’s money now, though very little, versus increased salary in the nebulous future if I emerge a graduate. That’s really what it comes down to because in my heart I know I don’t want to do this program but the sad and very frightening truth is: what else would I do with myself?

So either way I’m forcing myself to do something I don’t want to do but isn’t that life? I just like to be willfully ignorant most of the time as most people are and pretend I have a choice in the matter. Is that too much to ask? I hate it when I’m forced to make a decision I know I have to make anyway and it’s not one I’m going to enjoy. Major frustration! Which is why, when my brain spaces out from too little sleep and too much stress I indulge in a little jealously. I’m jealous of my cousin who’s married to a wonderful man with a perfect baby, lives in a neat house, and is a corporate lawyer but her husband just told her she doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to. The money he receives from a family business is more than enough to support them even when factoring in the six figures she must have been making. It’s not fair!

I want what everyone wants and what continues to elude me despite my best efforts to capture it: happiness.

I thought as a child that happiness was a given, that it was something that came with being an adult and making your own decisions. They would ultimately lead you where you wanted to go and you had money and maturity to support you. But I know now happiness is more valuable than money and harder to come by. Those who have it are the richest people in the world and can slow down and appreciate their lives while everyone else struggles with hating their own.

I know I have nothing to complain about and that life has been kinder to me than most. But I’ve also had my hard knocks too and been between a rock and a hard place more times that I can count. There have been decisions that have been life altering, some smart choices while others were doomed to failure from the start. The hardest part about making a decision, for me, is simply deciding with the certainty that it’s the right choice. How do you know? How does anyone know? Down one path is bitter misery, down the other a road of happiness bathed in sunshine. I’ve walked through more thorn briars than I can count and have many scars to prove it. But I’m no wiser than I was when I was 10 and often wish I could start all over again. I’m not proud of some of the decisions I’ve made and I feel that I’ve been fighting my whole life. Fighting for recognition, for acceptance, for education, for money, for independence, for love, for identity, and for faith. I’m tired–I don’t want to fight anymore. Every hill looms even taller than the last and I still haven’t caught my breath. I don’t think I ever will. I want happiness but I think even more I just want peace. I don’t want to be a part of this hectic, fast-paced world that steals your sanity and your sense of balance. It’s an awful, empty feeling that’s only partially filled by the love of others. I’m just….tired.

MBA Checklist—is it fate?

{ August 13, 2008 @ 5:25 pm } · { School }
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*sigh* I’m still in the program!! Who would have believed that one, huh? Well, like those prophets in the desert who stubbornly refused to believe the signs I guess I’m listening now Lord. It’s been one not so subtle push after another but at first I thought I was following my gut instincts. First–I didn’t study for the GMAT and passed the verbal but had a really low math score so I didn’t think I’d get in. I sent the application in anyway hoping to at least get in the 2-year program. But then, at the last moment at the end of June I got an e-mail saying I was accepted into the MBA-One program that’s really hard to get into to. So then I had to take 3 prerequisites in 2 months before August 27. I managed to finish Statistics with an A but couldn’t complete the Micro-Economics course. So again–I didn’t think I’d be eligible for enrollment. So I called and they said that it’s a new requirement and a lot of students were having trouble finishing so if I can take 3 refresher courses before orientation next Friday I can still get in *sigh* SUCH a hastle!! But I can’t believe things keep working out–I was all set to take filler classes at a CC instead because I was certain I was no longer eligible. My mom shook her head when I told her and said that there has to be some underlying purpose to all this. Who knows–I’m just going to keep doing what I’m good at–going with the flow.

TODAY–WED. 8/13/08

  • Registered for 2 courses online–haven’t paid for them yet
  • Paid for PRIMER by phone, need e-mail confirmation to register

What I still need to do:

  1. Buy textbooks for my 1st class
  2. Finish 3 PRIMER courses and registration

Standing on the Edge of a Precipice

{ August 12, 2008 @ 4:45 pm } · { Life, Personal, School }
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I’m just waiting for an e-mail confirming that I won’t get into the MBA program this year. I tried, and maybe I didn’t. At least I have one prerequisite class under my belt. My mother asked me the frightening yet unavoidable question: if you don’t go, what will your future be? I can’t answer that, but I have confidence in the immediate. I know what I’m going to do if, when, I get that e-mail. It’s hard to continue living at home but I love my family and don’t mind–it’s only embarrassing when I admit it to someone other than myself.

I plan to go to a community college and take Micro & Macro Economics plus a fun course like badminton, potter’s wheel, or Japanese to take the edge off while I continue to work. And maybe this is for the best–I probably wouldn’t be able to work at all if I started the MBA program and I have a lot of things to pay for right now (like a ticket ><). Plus I like my job. I will also apply for the JET program to give me another option and just enjoy the moment. I’m secure in my plan and know it’s the right thing to do. I love going to school but right now I want to take it slow. It’s a messy balance of give-and-take in your 20s–debating between job experience and a degree leading to a higher salary. You need both but often it’s not possible to do them at the same time. And more importantly I want both–it’s just going to be a steeper uphill slope than I thought and easing my way into it might be the best path. I don’t want to sound like I’m talking myself into an inevitable decision–I feel more comfortable taking courses at a CC than going ahead with the MBA program.

Applying for Grad School

{ April 21, 2008 @ 7:23 pm } · { Personal, School }
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So as a way for me to keep track of the complicated process, I’m going to document everything XP Today I: (it took 2 hrs!!)

  • sent online application for MBAOne at San Jose State
  • requested transcripts from Linfield, Mission, Evergreen, and San Jose City (done online)
  • wrote personal statement as part of online app
  • printed out separate required documents like resume, statement, and copy of app. to send out once I have confirmation about letters
  • e-mailed Linfield alumni rep. for info on getting letters of recommendation

NEED TO DO:::

TAKE THE GMAT!!! ><

I’ve been putting this one off for a while—but I need to have submitted scores by the end of May. At least they don’t ‘necessarily’ require high scores. And then, if I do that, the next step is to have them help me enroll in summer classes X_X Yikes!!